We Go Together...

It’s rare for me to write anything about the Red Sox. Well, unless it’s a tangent about how I hate them. But I was swimming today and all could think about was Big Papi. No, not like that. Not at all. I don’t think Mrs. Papi likes to think about Big Papi that way.

See, what got me thinking about Big Papi was not the fact that he is one of two Red Sox I can actually stomach and have respect for (the other being Jason Varitek, whom I named to my All-Sandlot team and still think of as the best battery-mate a pitcher could ask for) or the fact that I shudder every time he spits into his glove for every at-bat against any Yankees pitcher, even Mariano. 

No, what got me thinking about Big Papi was that he and his partner in crime, Manny Ramirez, whom I genuinely dislike, are always tossed around as the greatest tandem since sliced bread (which makes more sense than you think because the only time I’ve ever really eaten a single piece of bread is either as toast, which I usually don’t like unless it’s rye toast, or when I’m really broke and just have peanut butter in my cupboard and I just slap a mound of it on a single slice of bread and munch in gooey happiness and then really think about what I’ve just done as I’m choking on a layer of Jif, always Jif). And of course, peanut butter goes with jelly just like fried eggs goes with okra. Or peas and carrots. Or oil and water. Some things just go together I guess.

So I decided to compare. I like to compare. Who doesn’t? You do it when you buy cars and wives. You compare when you go to the store and decide that there really is no peanut butter as good as Jif, no matter what Disney of Facts of Life character may be on a certain label. People just like to compare. So that’s what I did. I decided to compare Papi and Ramirez, yes, the best tandem currently in the game, against some of the all-time greats to see where they stick out, if at all.

The other tandems: Ruth and Gehrig, Maris and Mantle and McGwire and Canseco. Including Man-o-Ram and Papi, these tandems are infamous for their ability to hit the ball out of the stands and be the run producing killers in the middle of the lineup. I am not looking at average or on-base percentage like I am prone to do. All I wanted was to compare Home Runs, RBIs and Runs scored over a three-year period, because that’s all the time Papi and Manny have spent together. For the other groups, I chose a three-year period that was A) consecutive and B) included a World Series Championship. Just like Papi and Ramirez. Why I remind myself of that constantly, I don’t know. So get some peanut butter, maybe some celery (which just so happens to take negative calories to eat) or some bread and see how they compare:

	Ruth & Gehrig	Maris & Mantle	McGwire & Canseco	Big Papi & Ramirez
Years	1927-1929	1960-1962	1987-1989	2003-2005
Home Runs	269	257	204	244
RBIs	903	665	606	766
Runs Scored	857	669	499	629

          As you can see, they compare quite favorably. Except against the guys whose team was known as Murderer’s Row. Of course, Canseco was injured in 1989, either due to too many injections in his butt or to many appearances on the mound.

          Does this change my thoughts on Red Sox? Not at all. Does this change my thoughts on Manny Ramirez? Nope. I’d rather win without him. Does it make me that much more scared of Big Papi, especially in clutch situations? Absolutely. I’d be eating something other than Jif if I thought any other way.

• Did you notice that it’s been roughly a year since Rafael Palmeiro failed his drug test and we still haven’t heard from him? If this guy ever gets into the Hall of Fame, I will turn in my baseball writer appreciation pass for life.

• Matt Leinart finally signed. Thank goodness. Because the stadium looks incredible.

• Good for you Jason Grimsley.

• I am happy to see that the reporters are being forced to testify in the Bonds case. I am very suspicious of what Bonds did and didn’t do to hit all those home runs. But I am equally suspicious about who all these sources were that the reporters hid behind in writing articles and books. The last thing any sportswriter should ever do is emulate Bob Novak.

• Top five teams hitting with 2 outs and Runners in Scoring Position:

Minnesota  .298

Baltimore   .274

Atlanta     .273

Cleveland  .271

Texas       .269

Surprising, because of these teams, none will be playing in the 2006 postseason.